Funny Quotes About Sleep

Best funny quotes about sleep

No human being believes that any other human being has the right to be in bed when he himself is up.

Robert Lynd

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper

A good cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep.

W.C. Fields

Sleep faster, we need the pillows.

Jewish proverb

Early to bed, early to rise, and you will meet very few prominent people.

George Ade

I missed my nap today. Slept right through it.

Henny Youngman

Snore? I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the curtains.

Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls

Laugh and the world loughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess

Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on its own.

David Sedaris

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep even during office hours.

Arthur Baer

If you ever suffered form insomnia you'll know what a nightmare it is.

Yogi Berra

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

George Burns

No civilized person ever goes to bed the same day he gets up.

Richard Davis

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour.

John Ciardi

I need eight hours' sleep a day. And ten hours at night.

Bill Hicks

Many are called but few get up.

Oliver Herford

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

Max Kauffmann

I have a feeling there's a correlation between getting up in the morning and getting up in the world.

Milton Berle

People who say the sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

Leo J. Burke

Did anyone ever have a boring dream?

Ralph Hudgson

I had a dream I was trapped in an elevator with Peter André, Geri Halliwell, and Brayan McFadden. And I had a gun with only one bullet.

Mark Lamarr

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words, 'We need to talk about our relationship' may help.

Rita Rudner

Last night I feel asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on televisions all over the world.

Steven Wright

If I'm not in bed by 11 at night, I go home.

Henny Youngman

I go to bed early. My favourite dream comes on at nine.

Eddie Izzard

I sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.

Fran Lebowitz

Sleep is death without the long-term commitment.

Lea Krinksky

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