Where would men be today if it weren’t for women? In the Garden of Eden eating watermelon and taking it easy.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she assumes she has gained weight. When a man tires on clothing from his closet that feels tight, he assumes the clothing has shrunk.
Men are like car alarms - they both make a lot of noise no one listens to.
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, ‘Are we going to have sex again?’ He said, ‘Yes, but not with each other.’
Man talk to women so they can sleep with them, and women sleep with men so they can talk to theme.
The difference between a man and battery is that a battery has a positive side.
There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type just has to urinate on the electric fence himself.
God gave men both penis and brain, but only enough blood supply to run one at a time.
One of the things that being in politics has taught me is that men are not a reasoned or a reasonable sex.
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
Deep down inside, men are biological creatures, like jellyfish or trees, only less likely to clean the bathroom.
A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings.
Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.
The useless piece of flesh at the end of a penis is called a man
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.