Sean Connery's amazing array of accents includes Russian-Scottish, Irish-Scottish, Spanish-Scottish, Arabian-Scottish, and English-Scottish.
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pits.
Children who have difficulty with 'cat' and 'mat' have no difficulty with four letter words.
I know only two words of American slang: 'swell' and 'lousy'. I think 'swell' is lousy, but 'lousy' is swell.
Slang is language that takes off its coat, rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands, and goes to work.
If anyone corrects your pronunciation of a word in a public place, you have every right to punch him in the nose.
In England, an elevator is called a lift, a mile is called a kilometre, and botulism is called a steak and kidney pie.
The worst words in the English language are, 'We have to talk.' Either that or, 'Whose bra is this?
The most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
The saddest words in the English language are, 'Partick Thistle, nil.
The most dreaded words in the English language are, 'Some assembly required.
The most awful words in the English language are, 'Just coffee.
The sweetest words in the English language are, 'I told you so.'
The most beautiful words in any language are, 'Not guilty.
The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'Have one on the house.
The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'It's benign.
The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'Cheque enclosed.
I speak Esperanto like a native.
Victoria Beckham speaks two languages - English and Gucci.
Statements to curdle the blood: 'One moment, please, while I check your account details'; 'I know all the Python scripts by heart'; 'Did I tell you, we did all our own conveyancing.
England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
I am sorry that I cannot address the people of Latin America in their own language - Latin.
The one phrase it is imperative to know in every foreign language is, 'My friend will pay.
The Norwegian language is merely German spoken underwater.
Japanese has fewer sounds than any other language and therefore has to ascribe a lot of meanings to the few it does have. 'Seikan' can mean a sexual feeling, naval construction, can manufacturing, or serene contemplation.
Dutch is not so much a language as a disease of the throat.
She speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.
German is the most extravagantly ugly language. It sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.
They did a survey of Scots to find out if they speak Gaelic. 90 per cent said yes, six per cent said yes, and four per cent said they didn't know.
Afrikaans sounds like Welsh with attitude and emphysema.
I asked the barmaid for a quickie. The man next to me said, 'It's pronounced quiche.
I don't speak French. But I do kiss that way.
There's a store in New York called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast.
Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything.
There are over thirty words in the Irish language which are equivalent to the Spanish 'manana'. But, somehow, none of them conveys the same sense of urgency.
The interpreter was the harder to understand of the two.
Learning English was like moving from one darkened house to another on a starless night during a strike of candlemakers and torchbearers.
Aside from a few odd words in Hebrew, I take it completely for granted that God has never spoken anything but the most dignified English.
Is there anything worse than speaking a foreign language to someone who turns out to be English?
What have you got when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
You don't have to have a language in common with someone for a sexual rapport. But it helps if the language you don't understand is Italian.
I would love to speak Italian but I can't, so I grew underarm hair instead.
My wife is teaching me Cuban. It's like Spanish but with fewer words for luxury goods.