Funny Quotes About Language

Best funny quotes about language

Sean Connery's amazing array of accents includes Russian-Scottish, Irish-Scottish, Spanish-Scottish, Arabian-Scottish, and English-Scottish.

Simon Rose

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pits.

W.C. Fields

Children who have difficulty with 'cat' and 'mat' have no difficulty with four letter words.

Pam Brown

I know only two words of American slang: 'swell' and 'lousy'. I think 'swell' is lousy, but 'lousy' is swell.

J.B. Priestley

Slang is language that takes off its coat, rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands, and goes to work.

Carl Sandburg

If anyone corrects your pronunciation of a word in a public place, you have every right to punch him in the nose.

Heywood Broun

In England, an elevator is called a lift, a mile is called a kilometre, and botulism is called a steak and kidney pie.

Greg Daniels

The worst words in the English language are, 'We have to talk.' Either that or, 'Whose bra is this?

Jerry Seinfeld

The most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

Ronald Reagan

The saddest words in the English language are, 'Partick Thistle, nil.

Billy Connolly

The most dreaded words in the English language are, 'Some assembly required.

Bill Cosby

The most awful words in the English language are, 'Just coffee.

Robert Morley

The sweetest words in the English language are, 'I told you so.'

Gore Vidal

The most beautiful words in any language are, 'Not guilty.

Maxim Gorky

The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'Have one on the house.

Wilson Mizner

The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'It's benign.

Woody Allen

The most beautiful words in the English language are, 'Cheque enclosed.

Dorothy Parker

I speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan

Victoria Beckham speaks two languages - English and Gucci.

Nicola Zweig

Statements to curdle the blood: 'One moment, please, while I check your account details'; 'I know all the Python scripts by heart'; 'Did I tell you, we did all our own conveyancing.

Jenny Abrams

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw

I am sorry that I cannot address the people of Latin America in their own language - Latin.

Dan Quayle

The one phrase it is imperative to know in every foreign language is, 'My friend will pay.

Alan Whicker

The Norwegian language is merely German spoken underwater.

Jed Larson

Japanese has fewer sounds than any other language and therefore has to ascribe a lot of meanings to the few it does have. 'Seikan' can mean a sexual feeling, naval construction, can manufacturing, or serene contemplation.

Robert Christopher

Dutch is not so much a language as a disease of the throat.

Mark Twain

She speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

Dorothy Parker

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

Caroline Rhea

German is the most extravagantly ugly language. It sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

Willie Rushton

They did a survey of Scots to find out if they speak Gaelic. 90 per cent said yes, six per cent said yes, and four per cent said they didn't know.

Tom Shields

Afrikaans sounds like Welsh with attitude and emphysema.

A.A. Gill

I asked the barmaid for a quickie. The man next to me said, 'It's pronounced quiche.

Luigi Amaduzzi, Italian Ambassador

I don't speak French. But I do kiss that way.

Lt Frank Drebin, Naked Gun 2 1/2

There's a store in New York called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast.

Fran Lebowitz

Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything.

Steve Martin

There are over thirty words in the Irish language which are equivalent to the Spanish 'manana'. But, somehow, none of them conveys the same sense of urgency.

Patrick Kavanagh

The interpreter was the harder to understand of the two.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Learning English was like moving from one darkened house to another on a starless night during a strike of candlemakers and torchbearers.

Vladimir Nabokov

Aside from a few odd words in Hebrew, I take it completely for granted that God has never spoken anything but the most dignified English.

Clarence Day

Is there anything worse than speaking a foreign language to someone who turns out to be English?

Michael Frayn

What have you got when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

Jackie Martling

You don't have to have a language in common with someone for a sexual rapport. But it helps if the language you don't understand is Italian.


I would love to speak Italian but I can't, so I grew underarm hair instead.

Sue Kolinsky

My wife is teaching me Cuban. It's like Spanish but with fewer words for luxury goods.

Emo Philips

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