Funny Quotes About Communication

Best Funny quotes about communication

The mobile phone ... the fax machine ... the e-mail. Call me old-fashioned, but what's wrong with a chain of beacons?

Harry Hill

-I'm sure you remember my number. -Still 666?

Bebe Glazer and Frasier Crane, Frasier

Only a man will think of a burp as a greeting for another man.

Tim Allen

The technological advance I'm waiting for on my phone is the 'get to the point' button.

Alicia Brandt

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, 'Mitch,' and I say, 'What?' and turn my head slightly.

Mitch Hedberg

Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.

Frank Moore

Have you ever noticed that wrong numbers are never engaged?

Steven Wright

At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. By the time I die, I'm going to be quite young.

Rita Rudner

I need a mobile phone like I need a hole in the head. Which may turn out to be the same thing.

William Barrett

The cell phone people say there's absolutely no danger from cell phone radiation. Boy, it didn't take those tobacco executives long to find new jobs, did it?

Bill Maher

New York is the first state to ban talking on hand-held cell phones while driving. First-time violators could receive a fine of $100, with an additional mandatory six-month jail sentence if your ring tone plays a Latin theme novelty song.

Jon Stewart

The concept behind the mobile phone is that you have absolutely nothing to say and you've got to talk to someone about it right now.

Jerry Seinfeld

When I'm on a train and someone starts to bellow into their mobile phone I shout, 'Quiet! I'm trying to travel.

Maureen Lipman

You need a mobile phone. How else can you let people know that you are on the train?

Rob Moseley

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.

Neil Kinnock

You're at home you're on the phone, you're in the car you're makin' calls, you get to work, 'Any messages for me?' You've got to give people a chance to miss you a little bit.

Jerry Seinfeld

Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please start talking at the sound of the beep.

Harris K. Telemacher

I climbed a mountain and hollered, 'Hellooo!' A voice came back, `The echo is busy at the moment. Leave a message at the beep, and we'll get back to you.

Eddie Izzard

Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

Peter Kay

I like to leave a message before the beep.

Steven Wright

Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.

Nicole Hollander

All phone calls are obscene.

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

What fresh hell is this?

Dorothy Parker, answering the phone

I don't answer the telephone because I have this feeling there is going to be somebody on the other end.

Fred Couples

I have e-mail, a pager, a cell phone, a fax. I've got an answering machine, three phone lines at home, one in my purse, and a phone in my car. The only excuse I have if I don't return your call is I just don't like you.

Alicia Brandt

Sending your girlfriend's love letters to your rival after he has married her is one form of revenge.

Ambrose Bierce

To write a love letter we must begin without knowing what we intend to say, and end without knowing what we have written.

Jean Jacques Rousseau

A real love letter is absolutely ridiculous to everyone except the writer and the recipient.

Myrtle Reed

A woman seldom writes her mind but in her postscript.

Richard Steele

Nine-tenths of the letters in which people speak unreservedly of their inmost feelings are written after ten at night.

Thomas Hardy

In my life, I have received no more than one or two letters that were worth the postage.

Henry David Thoreau

Correspondences are like knickers without elastic. It is impossible to keep them up.


One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer.

Lord Byron

Ever get a letter and you aren't sure who it's from? Run after the postman and shout, '1471'. He'll have to tell you.

Harry Hill

Never answer a letter until you get a second one on the same subject from the same person.

Michael O'Hagan

Good news rarely comes in a brown envelope.

Henry Goldsmid

I believe in opening my mail once a month - whether it needs it or not.

Bob Considine

There is a kind of person who will sit down and compose an answer to a family letter directly it has been received.

E.V. Knox

You can e-mail me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

David Letterman

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