The trouble with women is that they never put the toilet seat back up.
Women needs only two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it move and shouldn't, use the tape.
Now that a women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
She was one of those women who go through life demanding to see the manager.
A women could never be President. A candidate must be 35 or over, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.
There is no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it.
The most important things to a Southern girl are God, family and hair almost never in that order.
Women, can't live with them, can't bury theme in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
Intuition is the strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, weather she is not.
The only reason they say ‘women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
I'd rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, wear cute clothes, and they're first to be rescued off sinking ships.
If women ran the world, there would be not wars, just intense negotiations every twenty-eight days.
I thought I had PMS, but my doctor said, I've got good new and bad news. The good news is, you don't have PMS. The bad news is, you're a bitch.
Next Mood Swing: 6 minutes.
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself.
You don't know a woman until you've met here in court.
I love women, though I couldn't eat a whole one. But I think I know where I'd start.
The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.
A women is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
One of the great mysteries to me about women is the fact that they can pour hot wax on their legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.
Good created women because sheep can't type.
We have a saying in Russia: 'Women are like buses.' That's it.
I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at theme, but I wouldn't want to own one.