Funny Quotes About Success

Best funny quotes about success and failure

We didn't lose the game. We just ran out of time.

Vince Lombardi

When all else fails, there's always self-delusion.

Conan O'Brien

If at first you don't succeed, reload and try again.

Scott Adams

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

Red Buttons

If at first you don't succeed, you're not the only son.

Stephen Fry

Trying is the first step to failure.

Homer Simpson

If at first you don't succeed, failure might be your style.

Quentin Crisp

He rose without trace.

Kitty Muggeridge

I never climbed any ladder: I have achieved eminence by sheer gravitation.

George Bernard Shaw

If at first you don't succeed - you're fired.

Jean Graman

I'm such a failure. I became a kamikaze pilot, but I kept landing.

Jenny Abrams

It it not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Gore Vidal

You write a hit the same way you write a flop.

Alan J. Lerner

Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable.

Fran Lebowitz

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

W.C. Fields

Eighty per cent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

A.H. Weiler

The sooner we get rid of losing, the happier everyone will be.

Philip Roth

Winning is only important in war and surgery.

Al McGuire

He was as successful as a celluloid dog chasing an asbestos cat through hell.

Elbert Hubbard

No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats remember that approximately one billion Chinese people couldn't care less.

Abraham Lazlo

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Bill Lyon

Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at.

Bob Hope

I haven't failed. I've just found ten thousand ways that don't work.

Thomas Edison

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

Dan Quayle

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoiled by failure.

Noël Coward

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.

Wilson Mizner

Coulda, shoulda, woulda - didn't.

Fran Drescher

If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving.


Success means having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.

Johnny Cash

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

Jonathan Winters

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. What matters is whether Iwin or lose.

Darrin Weinburg

Behind every successful man stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Fay Weldon

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Ambrose Bierce

My formula for success is dress British, look Irish, think Jewish.

Murray Koffler

Success to me is having ten honeydew melons, and eating only the top half of each one.

Barbra Streisand

I have been a success: for sixty years I have eaten, and have avoided being eaten.

Logan Pearsall Smith

Success is the reward of anyone who looks for trouble.

Walter Winchell

The secret of success is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

Paul Getty

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