An Australian guy's idea of foreplay is, 'Are you awake?'
Of course size matters. Whoever says it doesn't matter is just a liar with a small dick.
I once dated a waitress. In the middle of sex she'd say, 'How is everything? Is everything okay over here?'
Foreplay is like beefburgers - three minutes on each side.
Men are like fireman. To us, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on other hand are like fire. They've very excited, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
He made love faster than the time it takes to get a vaccination.
Don't have sex. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
I'm a great lover - I'll bet.
I remember the first time I had sex because I kept the receipt.
I don't know if my first experience was heterosexual or homosexual because I was too polite to ask.
Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.
My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.
Sex is like money; only too much is enough.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experience go, it's one of the best.
I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural and wholesome thing that money can buy.