When love congeals, it soon reveals, the faint aroma of performing seals, the double-crossing of a pair of heels. I wish I were in love again!
Love and murder will out.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
In Ireland .. you're allowed to say you love God and babies and horses that win, but anything else is a softness in the head.
The world's tragedy is that men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
_Everyone knows that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. _Well, whatever. I don't really care.
Love is a great glue, but there's no cement like mutual hate.
Love is just chocolate subsitute.
When we want to read the deeds that are done for love, whither do we turn? To the murder columns.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania.
I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.
Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she's worth all she costs you.
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me.
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
The main purpose of love is to provide a theme for novels.
Love is loving someone no matter what their faults in a blind and unconditional way. Like the love Tony Blair has for George Bush.
People would never fall in love if they had not heard love talked about.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Only one kind of love lasts - unrequited.
Some guys are afraid of commitment. I was playing tennis with a man and he couldn't say, 'Thirty-love.' He kept saying, 'Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
There's a fine line between true love and a conviction for stalking.
Ill-conceived love is like a Christmas cracker - one massively disappointing bang and the novelty soon wears off.
Everything was going great until I said, 'I love you,' then he got this look on his face like he'd taken a wrong turn in a really bad neighbourhood.
Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
If I gave my heart to you ... I'd have none and you'd have two.
Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labour-saving devices the world ever saw.
I fall in love real quick, which can scare guys away. I'm like, 'I love you, I want to. marry you, I want to move in with you.' And they're like, 'Ma'am, just give me the ten bucks for the pizza and I'll be out of here.
A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
You know it's love when you dream of slitting his throat
Love, like poetry is a kind of homesickness, the kind which made medieval monks sleep in their coffins.
I would worship the ground you walk on, if only you lived in a better neighbourhood.
Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Love can leave you reeling faster than a one-eyed cat in a fish market.
Love is a system for getting someone to call your darling after sex.
Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache.
You know you're in love when you're willing to share your cash-machine number.
A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?
My wife and I thought we were in love but it turned out to be benign.
Love is that feeling you get in your guts when you see a girl across a crowded room and think, 'Wow. One day I'm going to make you the unhappiest woman alive.