The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors all got together and said, 'If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'.
There are only two types of exercises in Hollywood - jogging and helping a divorced friend move.
Go jogging? What, and get hit by a meteor?
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
The doctor asked me if I ever got breathless after exercising. I said no, never, because I never exercise.
Exercises? I tremble and shake for hours every morning.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
I takes six month to get in shape and two weeks to get out of shape. As soon as you know this, you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
I get out of breath playing chess.
My favourite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
I bought all those celebrity exercise videos. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch them.
When purchasing exercise equipment, make sure it is of sturdy construction and that there is enough space to hang all your wet washing on it.
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit down.
I often take exercises. Why only yesterday, I had breakfast in bed.
I exercise every morning without fail. Up down! Up down! And then the other eyelid.
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
Married people don't need to exercise, because our attitude is, 'They've seen us naked already - and they like it.'
Sure, I'll continue to work out - until I get married.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
Pump iron? Niels, you've never even pumped your own gas.
I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of any Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch.
My favourite exercise is walking a block and half to buy fudge. Then I call a cab to get me home. There's never a need to overdo anything.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
As a nation, we are dedicated to keeping physically fit - and parking as close to the stadium as possible.
Do I lift weights? Sure. Every time I stand up.
My favourite health club is the International House of Pancakes, because no matter what you wight, there will always be someone who weights 150 pounds more than you.
I paid four hundred bucks to join a health club last year. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.