That’s okay, we can walk to the kerb from here.
Woody Allen
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Whenever I rent a car, in order to cut down on the mileage rate, I reverse everywhere.
Woody Allen -
How the hell would I know why there are Nazis? I don’t even know how a can opener works.
Woody Allen -
In Los Angeles, they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen -
The Smithsonian Museum found my wife’s shoe. On the basis of its measurements, they constructed a dinosaur.
Woody Allen -
According to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought, particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen -
If the universe is expanding, why can’t I find a parking space?
Woody Allen -
Science is a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen -
The most beautiful words in the English language are, ‘It’s benign.
Woody Allen -
But not in those exact words.
Woody Allen