I never vote for anybody; I always vote against.
W.C Fields
-
-
I am an expert on electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the State Prison.
W.C Fields -
All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pits.
W.C Fields -
I refuse to play golf with Errol Flynn. If I want to play with a prick, I’ll play with my own.
W.C Fields -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
W.C Fields -
Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
W.C Fields -
Yes, I did take money from the kids’ piggy banks, but I always left you an IOU.
W.C Fields -
I love children – if they’re properly cooked.
W.C Fields -
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform and old friend that you have just got engaged to his fianc̩e.
W.C Fields -
A good cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep.
W.C Fields