The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you’ve got millions of pals out there. Type in, ‘Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire,’ and the computer will say, ‘Specify type of goat.
Richard Jeni
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You know when you go to the supermarket you step on that rubber part and the door opens? For years I thought that was a coincidence.
Richard Jeni -
My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch.
Richard Jeni -
The difference between Charles Manson and every woman I’ve dated is that Manson had the decency to look like a nut the first time you meet him.
Richard Jeni -
It’s sad fact that 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce. But other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
Richard Jeni