They call it ‘surfing’ the net. It’s not surfing. It’s typing in your bedroom.
Jack Dee
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A friend of mine was so fed up with the train delays and cancellations that he threw himselt onto the track. Died of exposure.
Jack Dee -
– I’m just thick. At least now I have a name for it.
Jack Dee -
The post office is the last bargain left on earth. For 27 pence you can send a letter anywhere in the country. People moan when the price of a stamp goes up by a penny. I think the Post Office should turn around and say, ‘Well, you fucking take it. See how far you get with your 27 pence train ticket.
Jack Dee -
I’ve had death threats before – well, okay, a petition.
Jack Dee -
If you are allowed to smack children you should be allowed to smack old people as well, because they are just as much of a nuisance as children, if not more.
Jack Dee