The nice thing about a plane crashing at an air show is that they always have good video footage of the actual crash.
George Carlin
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Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anybody going faster than you is a maniac.
George Carlin -
Politics is so corrupt, even the dishonest people get screwed.
George Carlin -
On television you can say you’ve pricked your finger but not the other way around.
George Carlin -
There’s all this talk about violence on TV causing violence on the street. Well, there’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the street?
George Carlin -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin -
If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the
George Carlin
original so valuable? -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a faceful of rain.
George Carlin -
Does that screwdriver really belong to Philip?
George Carlin