The senator got so tired on the campaign trail that he started kissing hands and shaking babies.
David Letterman
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Today, the LA Timesaccuse Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I’m telling you, this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman -
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some jokes just write themselves.
David Letterman -
Fine art and pizza delivery – being a talk-show host falls neatly in between.
David Letterman -
A newspaper has come out with a new survey. Apparently, three out of four people make up 75 per cent of the population.
David Letterman -
When you go to a mind-reader, do you get half price?
David Letterman -
It was so hot today I went to a cash point machine just to enjoy
David Letterman
the feel of a cold gun against the back of my neck. -
It’s so cold in New York City that flashers are just describing themselves.
David Letterman -
It’s so cold in New York City. Today in Central Park, I saw a squirrel salting his nuts.
David Letterman -
Celebrity party: it’s eleven o’clock at night and you’re watching
David Letterman
Larry King play Twister.