No, I Don’t Want the Fucking Extended Warranty.
Slogan on T-shirt
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One in ten Europeans is now conceived on an IKEA bed.
BBC news website -
Everything at IKEA is self-assembly. I bought a pillow, and they gave me a duck.
Todd Glass -
Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table.
Steven Wright -
Confectioners caught on that customers would happily buy a hole if it had a bit of mint around it.
Frank Muir -
I hate when they call up to check if your credit card is good. I always feel like they’re talking about me. ‘You won’t believe what he’s buying now. It’s some kind of yellow thing. I don’t even know what it is. Never sold one before.
Jerry Seinfeld -
The post office is the last bargain left on earth. For 27 pence you can send a letter anywhere in the country. People moan when the price of a stamp goes up by a penny. I think the Post Office should turn around and say, ‘Well, you fucking take it. See how far you get with your 27 pence train ticket.
Jack Dee -
Like all antique shops it was dingy outside and dark and smelly within. I don’t know why it is, but the proprietors of these establishments always seem to be cooking some sort of stew in the back room.
P.G. Wodehouse -
My husband refuses to try anything on. Even shoes. He just holds the box up to the light and says, ‘Yeah, these fit fine.
Rita Rudner -
Here is a useful shopping tip: you can get a pair of shoes for one pound at bowling alleys.
Al Clethen