I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
Les Dawson
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As repressed sadists are supposed to become policemen or butchers, so those with an irrational fear of lofe become publishers.
Cyril Connolly -
Don’t tell my mother I work in an advertising agency. She thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.
Jacques Seguela -
The longer the title, the less important the job.
George McGovern -
Interviewing a tree surgeon on his television quiz show You Bet Your Life, Groucho Marx asked: ‘Tell me, doctor, did you ever fall out of a patient?
Bill Jenks -
A man was muggled and lay bleeding to death by the side of the road. A social worker passed by and said, ‘Tell me the name of the person who did this to you. He needs help immediately.
Murray Watts -
Diamonds is my career.
Mae West -
A good rule of thumb is if you’ve made it to 35 and your job still requires you to wear a nametag, you’ve probably made a serious vocational error.
Dennis Miller -
A secretary is not a toy.
Frank Loesser -
I remember how me and my family would huddle around the fire on cold winter evenings, my father fretting about the coming harvest, my mother consoling him because he was a chartered accountant.
Harry Hill