I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
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My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn’t work out.
Rodney Dangerfield -
Divorce? Never. Murder? Often!
Sybil Thorndike -
I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler -
Divorce is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
Jean Kerr -
My wife got the house, the car, the bank account, and if I marry again and have children, she gets them too.
Woody Allen -
Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
Quentin Crisp -
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the slab.
Jean Kerr -
Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon Bibles.
Zsa Zsa Gabor -
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Johnny Carson